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Category: Relationships

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Published on 6 Comments on Matthew 6:33 Hearing God’s Voice

At this time of year, many people start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. What can I do differently in the coming year to make my life better? Many plan to start diet or exercise programs, and some plan to start Bible reading programs that will take them through the Bible in one year. A lot of these Bible reading programs alternate between Old and New Testament. Some read from four different sections each day. Some read straight through from cover to cover, and others go in chronological order. In order to read the Bible completely in one year, you need to read about three or four chapters a day. I have done this a couple of times before, but I don’t intend to do it again. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a good thing to read your Bible--this whole blog is built on it. I don’t think it’s wrong to read the Bible straight through either; in fact I think it’s a good idea to do so, either how it is written or in chronological order. But I don’t think that you should set yourself up for a schedule that you can’t keep, and that you will feel guilty about if you give it up. I think it is more important to forget the schedule, and read at a pace where you can stop and think, and pray, about what you are reading.

Many of you are familiar with Matthew 6:33 and the context around it. We are told not to worry about material things, what we will eat, what we will drink, what we will wear, because our Heavenly Father knows that we need them, but to first, above all, pursue His kingdom and righteousness, and the material things we need will be provided. The context tells us why we should put God first, and I think most of us would agree even if only for practical reasons. The problem is that most of us who have read, even memorized, this verse and agree with it, have trouble putting it into practice. So I want to talk about how we put God first. How do we get to know Him? How do we hear and know His voice? Surely His provision for us involves our cooperation. How do we follow His leading if we don’t know where He is directing us?

Rather than following a reading plan that will take you through the Bible in one year, why not make a commitment of how much time you will spend each day reading the Bible and in prayer. Why not try to get to know God, to understand Him. Many people pray for God to speak to them, to guide them on the next step of their journey. Do they expect to hear a booming voice from heaven with the answer telling them what they should do? Being a follower of Jesus Christ is not about religion, and following a list of rules, especially self-prescribed rules, it is about having a relationship, being adopted into a new family. How can you get to know that family if you don’t spend time with them? Reading the Bible, just for the sake of getting through it, and not really paying attention to it or considering how it could change your life, would be like having a conversation with someone while you’re daydreaming about something else. If you want to improve the relationship, you have to listen. For those of you who are waiting for God to speak to you, He already has—volumes.

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Published on 4 Comments on Luke 14:26 Love or Hate?

What does Jesus mean by the word hate? It seems so harsh. Isn’t Jesus supposed to be all about love? A few of my Twitter friends and I have been reading Luke (#thebookofluke) this month, and one of them asked me about Luke 14:26. I have had the same question in the past, and probably many others have too, so I thought it would be a good idea to write a post about it.

As with every verse we look at in the Bible, we must consider the context and interpret it in the light of other scripture. Jesus certainly was, and is, all about love. He said that the two most important commandments were to love God and love others. (Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:33 Luke 10:27-28) He even told us to love our enemies. (Matthew 5:43-48, Luke 6:27-31) We have also been told to honour our mothers and fathers. (Matthew 19:19, Mark 7:10, Ephesians 6:2-3) That was important enough to be one of the Ten Commandments--the law. (Exodus 20:12) Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. (Matthew 5:17) So why is He telling us that we cannot be His disciples unless we hate our families and even ourselves? The word here translated as ‘hate’ is a relative term. It means that we must think less of, and, if necessary, disregard our family. Now, if our family members have the same belief system as we do, and are willing to put Christ first, it may never be an issue, but if they disagree with our beliefs and our commitment to God, then we have to choose—God or family? God freely allows us that choice, but if we choose our family over Him, we cannot be His disciples.

Let’s be clear about this. Everyone, without exception, is invited to receive salvation. That is the meaning of the parable of the great banquet. (Luke 14:16-24) People were urged to come to the feast, so that God’s house would be filled. The only ones who did not come were those who chose not to. But there is a difference between accepting salvation and becoming a disciple. Do we really want to live for Jesus? Is He really the most important part of our lives? Luke 14:28-33 talks about counting the cost. Each person who undertakes to build a tower or fight a battle must count the cost to determine if they can complete the task. The same is true for us. We must decide if the eternal rewards of sacrifice for Jesus will be worth the cost of the challenges we face in our few short years on earth.

Jesus, too, counts the cost to determine if we are committed enough to be on His team. Are we worthy of the responsibilities that He will assign to us if we say that we want to work for His glory? Can He count on us to see it through to the end? When He said these words, He had a large crowd of people pressing in all around Him. (Luke 14:25) Many were probably following Him because they wanted to be healed, or because Jesus had a habit of feeding people, or simply because they wanted to see what everyone else was doing. Jesus’ use of direct language would have certainly thinned out the throng. We know that none of them were willing to stick by Him when He faced death; they all fled. (Mark 14:49-50) If we are to be Christ’s disciples, we have to be willing to give up everything else and put Him first. It is your choice to make.

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Published on 2 Comments on I Peter 3:3-4 Inside Out

I’ve spent a lot of time with teenagers over the years, and without wanting to stereotype or say that all teenagers fit into the same category, I would say that generally they are trying to be accepted, to fit in and to know that people like them. (Perhaps those feelings don’t disappear when we leave the teenage years behind.) I have known a lot of teenage girls especially who have tried to impress people by the clothes and make-up that they wear.

I Peter 3:3-4 instructs us not to focus on external beauty, but on the condition of our hearts. This passage was specifically addressed to wives of unbelieving husbands, but I think that it applies to everyone. Our inner beauty will shine through as long as what we wear to enhance our outer beauty doesn’t speak more loudly. Peter was not saying that we should dress in rags and take no consideration of our grooming (because that would speak loudly too); he was warning against being outrageous and drawing attention to our physical features. I Samuel 16:7 tells us that people look at outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. It is our hearts that He is concerned with, but the condition of our hearts is displayed in our words and actions, including the way we dress.

I think parents really need to focus on open communication with their children and teaching them to be modest, sincere and pleasing to God. And they need to do it before the influence of the world tells them otherwise. Henry Winkler, as his character Arthur Fonzarelli, in the old sit-com Happy Days, once said, “I only got one thing to say to you Shortcake. You put out an advertisement, someone is going to answer that ad.” In Romans 12:1-2, Paul said that instead of selling out to the world, we should make our bodies a living sacrifice—alive, holy and pleasing to God.

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Published on 3 Comments on Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 The Value of Friendship

I belong to a book club/Bible study group made up of a dozen or so ladies ranging in age from about 35 to 75. We encourage each other, and help each other out by sharing from our wide base of experiences, as well as with practical things like painting and kitchen duties. And we laugh. A lot. These ladies have become very dear friends to me, and I look forward to and treasure our times together. It has never mattered what book we chose to read; I attend because I value their friendship.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon, a king known for his wisdom, laments the meaninglessness of almost everything, but in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, he promotes the benefits of companionship. Life is better with a friend or two. Labour is easier. Some tasks are just too difficult, even for a strong, independent person to do alone. If one gets hurt or into a bad situation, another is there to call for help. If they are travelling through the wilderness, as many would have in Solomon’s day, they can huddle together to stay warm. Today think of being in a stranded vehicle on an isolated highway in the winter. And, perhaps, most important of all, they can protect each other from their adversary. We do that in our group. We help each other to see how the enemy, Satan, is attacking our souls, and we stand together on God’s word, and through prayer, to fight back. Like a three-stranded cord, we are stronger together.

In the beginning, when God created each aspect of the universe, He declared it good. The first thing that He declared not good was that man was alone. (Genesis 2:18) So He created a helper suitable for him. Galatians 6:2 instructs us to bear one another’s burdens, and Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us to not give up meeting together. We were made for community. George Eliot described a best friend as a “well-spring in the wilderness”, an oasis. Take time to cultivate your friendships. All other striving is meaningless without them.

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Published on 1 Comment on Matthew 18:15-17 Dirty Laundry (and what to do with it)

Are you old enough to remember what life was like before Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites were created? Can you think back to a time before the Internet was a common term? If you are too young for that, you might not understand what I’m talking about, but life was different then. Now, people announce everywhere they go and every little thing they are doing. Things that never used to be considered important enough to mention to anyone now get shared with everyone.

That sheds a whole new light on Matthew 18:15-17. Decades ago, if someone had been offended by someone else, they may have been tempted to tell their close friends, and even though that was inadvisable, the matter would have still remained relatively quiet. Now, if someone is annoyed by something, it will very likely get posted to Facebook for hundreds of other people to see and share their opinions about.

The procedure given in Matthew 18:15-17 is probably intended for more serious infractions that may result in excommunication if taken to the bitter end, but I think that the principle is still valid for interpersonal grievances as well. If you are upset with someone because of something they did to offend you, and you wish to resolve the issue and preserve the relationship, announcing your frustration to the world is not likely to help your cause. It is possible that the other person has offended you without even realizing it. If that is so, the matter will be resolved quite easily once you share your hurt. If it was an intentional slight, you will at least know where you stand. We are asked to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 17:3-4), and we are asked to love our neighbour (Luke 10:27), but we are not required to remain friends with anyone who intentionally abuses us. We can be respectful to them. We can be gracious and civilized. We can follow God’s steps for reconciliation. But if, in the end, they don’t want to do their part to contribute to a healthy relationship, you do not have to continue to associate with them. If they are family members, of course, it may not be as easy as all that, and that’s where the graciousness and civility will be essential. Nonetheless, we don’t have to go out of our way to spend time with them. At the point where they are ready to adjust their behaviour, because you have already forgiven them, you will be ready to renew the relationship.

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Published on 1 Comment on Matthew 7:6 Pearls Before Swine

Matthew 7:1-5 is the passage, probably familiar to many, that tells us not to judge lest we be judged. Whatever standard we use to judge others will be used to judge us as well. Christ gives the example of trying to remove a speck of dust from your brother’s eye while you have a plank in your own. Then we get to verse 6 which talks about dogs and pigs. In Jesus’ time, both of these were considered unclean and undesirable.

Many commentaries will tell you that Matthew 7:6 means that we should not present the gospel to anyone who refuses to listen. This view has support from other passages in the Bible, such as Proverbs 23:9 which tells us not to bother trying to talk sense to fools, and Matthew 10:14 which advised the disciples to shake the dust from their feet when they left a town where they weren’t welcome. When a Canaanite woman asked Jesus to heal her daughter (Matthew 15:21-28), Jesus told her that it was not right to throw the children’s bread to the dogs.

That is not to say that we should avoid talking to anyone who doesn’t believe as we do, or who questions what we believe, for Christ certainly did not set that example. The Bereans were commended for their questioning (Acts 17:10-11), because it showed that they were eager to understand.

Other commentaries suggest that this verse continues the teaching on judgement. Judgement in the first five verses of the chapter is about criticism or condemnation, something that we have no authority to do. That is God’s job. The judgement referred to in verse six is equivalent to discernment. We must not badger or enrage someone who has heard what we have to say but refuses to agree with us, and it requires discernment to determine whether people fit into that category or are questioners like the Bereans.

My pastor has a different point of view. He would explain to you that if you have withheld food from animals, even domesticated ones, long enough, they will turn on you. If you throw pearls to hungry pigs, even though they are seen as valuable to you, they would be of no use to the pigs. Therefore, my pastor would argue, you need to provide unbelievers with that which is helpful to them. Consider what the recipient needs rather than what makes you look noble. Getting back to the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:27-28, we see that she was commended for her faith when she answered Jesus saying that even the dogs are allowed to eat the crumbs that fall from the table.

So what are we to do? Exercise discernment, and if you need some, ask God for it. (James 1:5) Be willing to speak to anyone until you know that they don’t want to have anything to do with you. Try to be helpful to those you encounter. Don’t spout doctrine in “Christianese”, but answer their questions as clearly and honestly as you can.

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Published on 1 Comment on Joshua 1:9 Courageous Movie Portrays a Different Kind of Courage

Today's post, written by Meg Korpi and Rusty Wright, is a review of the movie Courageous. Sherwood Pictures presents films with a message, and their message always has the goal of making us better people. Do your best to see it if it comes to a theatre near you.
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Courageous begins as a fast-paced police drama with plenty of heart-pounding action, and a spine-tingling surprise within the first three minutes. Good-natured banter and comic mishaps had us laughing, but the movie quickly reveals an introspective side that portends more than levity and brave guys in uniforms chasing bad guys in do-rags.

Indeed, Courageous tells a grounded, human story that focuses on the crucial role of fathers. It intertwines action, humor, pathos, male bonding, a couple of insightful women, and five complex main characters to portray ordinary men evolving into modern-day heroes who find the call to valor in their everyday lives.

A Different Kind of Courage
As peace officers commissioned “to serve and protect,” the protagonists are accustomed to facing danger. But when personal tragedy strikes, officer Adam Mitchell responds with a different kind of courage. Rather than bemoaning his fate, he exhibits the mettle to examine his adequacy as a father, confront his flaws, talk about them, and commit to change.

Adam Mitchell (Alex Kendrick) tries to connect with son Dylan (Rusty Martin, Jr.)
Adam Mitchell (Alex Kendrick) tries to connect with son Dylan (Rusty Martin, Jr.)

Most would probably say he’s a “good enough” father (he provides for his family and does all society expects), but Adam adopts a higher standard. He resolves to be involved in his son’s life and make an enduring positive impact. Determined to follow through, Adam formalizes his decision with a written Resolution. Then he has the guts to ask other men to hold him accountable. This is not your typical Hollywood hero.

Adam’s experience prompts his friends to join in adopting the Resolution. When life inevitably confronts them with difficult moral choices, they weigh their options and tempting advice like, “maybe it’s not wrong; maybe it just looks that way.” In retrospect, it turns out their apparent moral dilemmas weren’t dilemmas at all, just decisions that required courage.

A Different Kind of Movie
Courageous is the third cinematic release from Sherwood Pictures, the successful moviemaking arm of Sherwood Church in Albany, Georgia. Previous releases (also marketed by Sony-Provident Films) include Facing the Giants (2006) and Fireproof, 2008’s top-grossing independent film.

The movie and acting are surprisingly competent, with moments of brilliance. (We predict Robert Amaya’s Snake King scene will become a classic.) This is impressive, considering the film used scores of volunteer cast, crew, caterers, etc., with minimal professional talent. Two brothers—Sherwood pastors and NYT best-selling authors Alex and Stephen Kendrick—wrote the screenplay. Alex also directed and starred; Stephen produced. “We [were] all in this together,” noted Alex, “trying to make a movie that matters.”

Actor Ken Bevel, whose character survived a fatherless childhood, connected personally with his role. His own father was absent for 21 years: “That gap really hurt in a lot of areas.…There’s nothing like your father actually being there and teaching you.”

Nathan Hayes (Ken Bevel) suffers scars from his missing father.
Nathan Hayes (Ken Bevel) suffers scars from his missing father.

Courageous is a movie with a message. It educates, makes us think, and challenges norms. It strives to present life-changing truths that touch viewers’ hearts and motivate them to action. Thus, it shares purpose with such unlikely films as An Inconvenient Truth and Bowling for Columbine, while drawing on different values. It reverberates with the biblical admonition: “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Resources for Action
Courageous challenges viewers to examine their lives, and offers fodder for discussing values, parenting, self-improvement, responsibility to one another, etc. But the filmmakers go further by providing online resources to help motivated moviegoers pursue the film’s themes in their own lives.

While it provides humorous and engaging entertainment, ultimately Courageous should be judged for its greater purpose—as a vehicle for long-lasting positive impact on society. Time will tell.

Opens across the US and Canada on September 30. Rated PG-13 for some violence and drug content. U.S. Theaters --- Canadian Theatres

Official Courageous websites:
Canadian
American
Spanish
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Meg Korpi studies character development and ethical decision-making through the Character Research Institute in Northern California. She holds a PhD from, and formerly taught at, Stanford University.
Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. www.RustyWright.com
Copyright © 2011 Meg Korpi and Rusty Wright

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In my last post, August 1, 2011 I said that being filled with and led by the Holy Spirit would give us the tools we need to develop discernment. That made me think of Galatians 5:25. Being led by the Spirit, requires that we make a conscious choice to follow the Spirit. This should not be considered a burdensome task, but part of the freedom of living for Christ. Let’s look at the context of this verse beginning today with Galatians 5:13-14.

Galatians 5:13 tells us that we were called to freedom; God never intended for us to be bound by religious legalism. But there is a wide span between legalism and lawlessness, and we should not use the freedom we have in Christ to indulge our sinful nature. Just as a rock climber needs a foothold to get to the next step, we provide a foothold to Satan if we give in to our sinful desires. Being free does not mean having no boundaries. A.T. Pierson has said:

True freedom is found only in obedience to proper restraint. A river finds liberty to flow, only between banks: without these it would only spread out into a slimy, stagnant pool. Planets, uncontrolled by law, would only bring wreck to themselves and to the universe. The same law which fences us in, fences others out; the restraints which regulate our liberty also insure and protect it. It is not control, but the right kind of control, and a cheerful obedience which make the free man.

Instead of using our freedom to indulge ourselves, we should use it to serve one another. We are of course expected to obey the laws of our land, (Romans 13:1) but we also need to obey the most important commandments of Christ, which are to love God with everything we have within us, and love others as we love ourselves. (Matthew 22:37-40) Love should be the motive and the result of all Christian behaviour.

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Published on 1 Comment on Matthew 7:1-5 You have some rib sauce on your face.

Have you seen the recent Swiss Chalet commercial? A man and a woman are eating ribs. She has a massive smear of rib sauce on her face, and he has a tiny little speck on his. He wants to tell her, but he hesitates, trying to find the right words, trying to be polite. While he pauses, she says, “You have some rib sauce on your face.” She was quick to point out his mess without paying any attention to her own. This reminds me of the parable of the speck and the beam from Matthew 7:1-5.

Jesus was teaching his followers not to judge. A lot of people use this passage to defend themselves against others who would correct them. They quote Matthew 7:1, but they often misrepresent the point. There are certainly times in our lives when we do have to use some judgement—to discern right from wrong, to settle disputes, to make good choices—but we should not use it to condemn others for things that we haven’t been able to overcome ourselves. This is especially true of motives. We should not presume to know what is in another person’s heart or to understand why they have chosen the path they have. To judge a person’s heart is the responsibility of God alone.

Jesus uses hyperbole—exaggeration—to illustrate His point. Imagine, trying to get a speck of dirt out of someone else’s eye. It’s a very difficult thing to do in the best of circumstances. You need excellent lighting and a willing patient. Now imagine trying to do that if you had a beam the size of a tree trunk sticking out of your own eye. You wouldn’t be able to get close enough to see the speck in your friend’s eye. You would certainly need to deal with your own problem first. Before you judge another’s heart, make sure that your heart is right. If it is, you won’t need, or want, to judge. And make sure you have a lot of serviettes handy when eating ribs.

If you haven't seen it, watch the commercial here:

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The purpose of this blog is to look closely at individual Bible verses or short passages of scripture, but those verses should never be considered outside of the message of the entire Bible nor outside of their immediate context. One verse that is frequently taken out of context is Matthew 18:19. Many people believe that if two or more are together in the same room praying for the same thing, that they will get the answer they desire. This verse, however, is sandwiched between instruction on how to restore a relationship with a fellow believer (Matthew 18:15-18) and how often we should forgive. (Matthew 18:21-22) The agreement referred to in Matthew 18:19-20 is in the context of church discipline.

If two on earth agree about what measures are necessary in the way of church discipline, it is likely because they have both already sought God’s guidance in the matter. Because they are praying for God’s will, and because they agree, God is there with them. Therefore, whatever they decide to do, shall be done. This presumes that they have already been following God’s steps for reconciliation: private confrontation, the testimony of two or three witnesses, the decision of the church. It is only as a last resort that anyone should be asked to leave the congregation. (Matthew 18:15-18)

That is not to say that agreement in prayer is not a good principle. By praying together, we can encourage each other and hold each other accountable to praying according to the will of God. Hebrews 10:24-25 urges us to spur one another on, and to not abandon meeting together, because--we learn from Proverbs 27:17--as iron sharpens iron, one friend sharpens another. We help each other, and we are kept from feeling like we are facing the trials of life alone when we meet together to pray.

There are, however, other passages in the Bible where we are instructed, or shown the example, to pray alone. Just before Jesus gave the disciples a model for praying that we now know as the Lord’s prayer, (Matthew 6:9-13) He told them that they should pray alone and in secret to avoid being like the hypocrites who prayed publicly so that they would look pious. (Matthew 6:5-8) In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus left His disciples Peter, James and John and went off by Himself to pray. His most important instruction to them was not about how to pray, but to in fact keep praying and not fall asleep. (Mark 14:32-42) He wanted them to focus on communicating with God rather than giving in to their own physical desires. If our heart is focused on prayer, then we will pray without ceasing, (I Thessalonians 5:17) whether we are alone or with others.

Whatever we pray needs to be in keeping with all scripture that teaches us about prayer. (Matthew 6:9-13, I John 5:14-15, James 1:6-8, Hebrews 10:22) God is not obligated to give us whatever we want just because we get someone else to agree with us, but He does listen to and answer the prayers of His people whether they pray in groups or alone. We are encouraged to take all of our cares to Him. (Philippians 4:6)