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Here we are a week into the new year. Is it really a happy one for you? For some there have been almost inconceivable blessings; for others, it has been one frustration after another. Others are just getting back into the work and school routine after the holidays. Either they are feeling a little let down, or they are thankful to get back to “normal” life. Whatever the circumstances of our lives are, they will almost certainly be affecting our perception of whether or not this is going to be a Happy New Year. And most of us have probably realized by now that we truly have very little control over those circumstances. Sure we can make plans and work hard to try to control our lives, but there will always be events that are beyond our ability to manage and which will influence our degree of happiness.

But what of Jesus’ promise that our joy would be full? (John 15:11) First we need to realize that joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is an emotional reaction to circumstances. According to Kay Warren, author of Joy: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough, “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

Second, we need to look more closely at the context of that promise. This verse comes very soon after the parable of the vine and the branches, in which Jesus teaches us to abide in Him. It comes directly after Jesus tells us that He loves us just as the Father loves Him, and instructs us to remain in His love. (John 15:9) Then He tells us that the way to remain in His love is to obey His commandments (John 15:10), and that His commandment is to love each other the same way that He loves us. (John 15:12). So many people who don’t know Jesus think that following His commands would make life tedious, and would take all the fun out of living. Jesus promises just the opposite. Abiding in Him, loving Him and each other, this is what will make our joy complete.

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It has been five days since the senseless shooting of theatre goers in Aurora, Colorado. Usually after a terrifying incident like this one, you hear stories about the heroic acts of people helping others, so I was surprised to read the story of a young man who set his crying infant son on the floor, and ran out of the theatre, leaving behind not only his son, but his girlfriend and a four year old daughter as well. He then fled the theatre, got in his car and drove away. His girlfriend borrowed a phone, presumably well after the chaos had settled, and called him. They were later reunited at the hospital where he proposed, and she accepted. (I don’t pretend to know any of them or the situation well enough to understand their motivations, but based on the facts I have, I would not have said yes.)

Thankfully, this young man seemed to be the exception; there were in fact heroes there too. According to the reports, a complete stranger protected that abandoned fiancée and her daughter. Several other young men gave up their lives to protect their girlfriends from the flying bullets. The girlfriends all survived. The comments that I have heard, all suggest that protecting loved ones is what real men do. There are probably many men who have told their sweethearts that they would take a bullet for them, but I don’t know how many thought that they might really have to do it one day.

Jesus said that there is no greater love than to give up your life for a friend. (John 15:13) He knew when He said it that He would be giving up his life within a day. His purpose for coming to this earth in human form was to give up His life so that we wouldn’t have to give up ours. Yes, we will one day all give up our earthly bodies, but they are only the wrapping of our souls. We can live eternally, because Jesus was willing to die in our place. He commanded us to love others in the same way that He loves us. Just so that there is no ambiguity, that instruction is repeated several times in John 15:9-17:

  • We are told to remain in His love, (John 15:9) and we will do that by obeying His commandments. (John 15:10)
  • Then He clarifies that His commandment is to love others just as He has loved us. (John 15:12)
  • We demonstrate that we are His friends by following His commands, (John 15:14) and once again He repeats that His command for us is to love other people. (John 15:17)

We won’t all be required to demonstrate our love for someone by dying in their place, but we can still make other people a priority ahead of ourselves. We can lay down our lives in service to others while we're living.

I was having a conversation with my husband the other day, and I said, “The opposite of love isn’t hate; it is the absence of love. It is indifference.” He pondered that for a moment, and then did what every good techie does: he googled it. It turns out that, even though I was processing that thought for the first time, others had said it before, most famously holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Elie Wiesel.

So, how do we know whether we are truly being loving or not? It’s not about feelings; it’s about conscious decisions. It is a choice. I John 5:2-4 tells us that we know we are loving others when we love God and keep His commandments. His commandments as summarized by Jesus are to love God and love others. (Matthew 22:37-40) Jesus also said that obeying his commandments is a natural progression of love for Him. (John 14:15) Later in the Gospel of John we read that if we obey Christ’s commandments, we will remain in Him just as He has obeyed His Father’s commandments and remains in His Father. (John 15:10) One assists the other: If we love God we will obey His commandments, and if we obey His commandments His love will remain in us.

These days, we use the term “love” quite loosely. I love chocolate. I love blue skies. I love my husband. These are examples that represent emotions and expressions of enjoyment. The kind of love discussed in these verses is unconditional, from the Greek word agape. A good summary of what that means and how it can be demonstrated practically is found in The Love Chapter (I Corinthians 13, particularly I Corinthians 13:4-7 ), but in general it means that we choose to love. Our love is not based on what we can get out of it, or even what we can give (and then feel good about). It is about loving others because God commands it, whether we particularly like them or not. That is something that is not easily done even if we really want to. It is only possible if we let the love of our Heavenly Father flow through us.

I was having a conversation with my husband the other day, and I said, “The opposite of love isn’t hate; it is the absence of love. It is indifference.” He pondered that for a moment, and then did what every good techie does: he googled it. It turns out that, even though I was processing that thought for the first time, others had said it before, most famously holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Elie Wiesel.

So, how do we know whether we are truly being loving or not? It’s not about feelings; it’s about conscious decisions. It is a choice. I John 5:2-4 tells us that we know we are loving others when we love God and keep His commandments. His commandments as summarized by Jesus are to love God and love others. (Matthew 22:37-40) Jesus also said that obeying his commandments is a natural progression of love for Him. (John 14:15) Later in the Gospel of John we read that if we obey Christ’s commandments, we will remain in Him just as He has obeyed His Father’s commandments and remains in His Father. (John 15:10) One assists the other: If we love God we will obey His commandments, and if we obey His commandments His love will remain in us.

These days, we use the term “love” quite loosely. I love chocolate. I love blue skies. I love my husband. These are examples that represent emotions and expressions of enjoyment. The kind of love discussed in these verses is unconditional, from the Greek word agape. A good summary of what that means and how it can be demonstrated practically is found in The Love Chapter (I Corinthians 13, particularly I Corinthians 13:4-7 ), but in general it means that we choose to love. Our love is not based on what we can get out of it, or even what we can give (and then feel good about). It is about loving others because God commands it, whether we particularly like them or not. That is something that is not easily done even if we really want to. It is only possible if we let the love of our Heavenly Father flow through us.